When “hanging out” is a date

“date.” Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 18 Jun. 2008. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/date>.

7. a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person: to go out on a date on Saturday night.

There are about 18 definitions of the word “date,” neither of them which actually define what most of us consider a “date.” According to this definition, taking my family out to dinner would be considered a “date,” as long as I made reservations beforehand and didn’t just decide on a whim to go to McDonald’s. However, we never tell our parents that we’re taking them on a date– we tell them that we’re inviting them out to dinner. Obviously, context is the biggest difference here, and since Webster’s doesn’t provide us with a clear definition, I think there are a few specific factors that women can look for when determining whether or not “hanging out” is really a “date” or just chilling with the boys.

Speaking from personal experience, I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “date” ever when asking a girl out on one. I remember asking out girls in high school to go watch a movie, and grab dinner, but never did using the word date ever come to mind. Didn’t use the word in college. Still don’t use the word today. It still never comes to mind. I think there are a few reasons why guys tend to stray away from this word, and let me go over those points first.

1. using the word “date” poses a bigger risk. girls don’t mind “hanging out,” but some girls will immediately run away and hide from you if you mention the word date. game over before you even dropped in the quarters.

2. leaves no exit strategy. if i mention that we’re going out on a date, that commits me to saying that i’m interested in you, beyond being friends. hey, if we go out to dinner and we’re “hanging out,” and i lose interest in the course of dinner, i can always just bail out by saying we were hanging out as friends. “Oh, I had plans after dinner.” no harm done.

3. we assume that girls know it’ll be a date. i mean, really? dinner friday night at morton’s steakhouse? lets be real– if i was asking, “hey, want to go grab some chicken nuggets and a diet coke?” versus “hey, want to go out to dinner with me at Morton’s on friday?”, i think we’re all able to tell the difference there.

Now you’re asking, wow. How are girls supposed to know? Let me give you some key points to look out for:

1. How is he asking? I love it when girls ask, “Oh, is it just me and you?” Guys always respond, “Uhh, yeah.” If it’s one on one, and both people are single and not life-long friends, it’s a date. Sometimes guys will even just mention this fact, so that you get the hint that it’ll be a date. I’m not going to list all the different qualifiers, but if you aren’t family, you can bet the guy is thinking, how am I going to prepare for this date? Group situations are a bit more difficult. My opinion here is, if you need someone to hold your hand crossing the street, you’re still 8 years old. Grow up.

2. When is this happening? Am I grabbing breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? I’ve never asked a girl I’ve been interested in to hang out for lunch. Dinner is no doubt the stronger play, but also the better play. If you are hanging out at night, especially a weekend night, you can put all your chips on the fact that, in the guy’s mind, this is going to be a date.

3. Where are you going? What are you doing? McDonald’s is not a first date. Morton’s is. I think everyone gets the point here. If you’re going somewhere decently nice, it’s a date. Anything above Applebee’s should be a date. I always like to ask what type of cuisine they’d like to eat, and then make some suggestions, just so the girl knows not to show up in flip flops and shorts. If a guy is taking you to Chili’s and isn’t still in high school, you shouldn’t be going out with him anyways. Movies, with just the two of you, is a date.

Well, there are a few more indications, but these three are key. Trust me, this is in every guy’s playbook, and girls should be on the lookout if they don’t want to be unsure about just “hanging out” or being on a “date.” Remember ladies, if you say yes, you’re going on a date. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

---

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

• The trouble with “hanging out”
• No kiss to tell
• Hey Shmil
• The First Date