Possibly my last drunk post

Hey all, it’s been awhile since I did a drunk post. To be honest, I think this will be my last one because, straight up, it’s been like 3 days since my last post, and Darla hasn’t posted.  You know what that means, this blog is dead.  Noone is posting anymore; it’s total weaksauce.  Thebusdriver is TCFS (too cool for school) now, GuccimanLA’s got MITTD (more important things to do) and Darla is officially M (married).  It seems like my posts are the only one that actually truly represents the single life, even though I know for a fact that thebusdriver is still living it.  Oh well, it’s time to close shop.

Anyways, i’d entertain you with my last drunk post.  Maybe last, who knows, there might be that one night where I come back and still post.  I don’t know what i’m talking about anymore.  Bear with me.  Tonight was pretty money.  We had a company Halloween party.  I gotta stop talking about my company, but to be honest, this is life after college.  Deal with it.  So, we formed a Digitas rock band.  I played the drums.  I dressed up as an 80’s rocker with a headband, sunglasses, tattoos ( I bought the sleeve from Miami Ink, huge hit with the ladies), rocker belt, and yeah thats it.  So I played 3 songs, We’re not going to take it by Twisted Sister, Smells like Teen Spirit by Nirvana, and Sedated by Ramones.  It was money.  I rocked it.  I’m not gonna lie.  The girls were practically wet when I was done.  Note to self, keep playing the drums when you’re single.  So after, I had to hit up a MySpace party at Enclave, a pretty swanky club in River North.  I jumped in a cab and got there seeing several friends.  I manged to get them in by lying.  It’s amazing how far lying has got me.  We got in, and open bar for 3 hours, top shelf, done deal.  I slammed several fucking halloween themed drinks like “Spooky O”, “Jack o Lantern”, and several other very campy names.  All of a sudden, several girls  showed up with paint on their chest and they were completed naked.  I was like, oh shit, boobies.  This I like.  So I went up to them and started dancing.  Now, keep in mind, I had my shades on (part of my costume) so I felt like fucking invincible.  It was fucking sick.  I was dancing with 2 girls that were practically naked but had paint on them.  How money was this.  So we kept dancing, and then all of a sudden I ask them, alrite, lets cut the bs, who are you working for.  And they told me they do promotion for the club and what not.  And so then I spew some bs about marketing and advertising and some crap about my job and several bs lines here and there.  I don’t want to get into it.  Next thing you know, the girl gets close and squeezes my fucking waist.  I was like, oh shit, it’s done.  Shades have never gotten me this far, but boy am I glad I have them on.
We dance more, and i leave.  Don’t even say anything cause I needed a drink and went to talk to some girlfriends.  I come back to the floor in about 40 minutes and she grabs me and tells me to go to the haunted house downstairs.  No joke, Myspace hired some people to build a haunted house on the bottom floor of the club.  So I go with her, and we go in to this maze where you cant see shit, and we make out like crazy.  Mind you, I cant see her face, She cant see mine, but shes topless.  That’s all that matters.  So we kick it down there for a good 20 minutes, and then we leave.  I look at my watch, and its like 11:30, and i’m kinda ready to bounce cause I got work the next morning.  I jump in a cab and head home.  Hit up grubhub and call for delivery.  Done Deal.  I’m shot.

Point of this entry is, the best feeling in the world is when you fucking tell yourself you’ve still got it.  You know, its been a pretty whack last week.  I gotta tell you, straight up, Mixed Signal hurt my pride a little.  She wasn’t being straight with me.  Today my co worker told me, straight up, she aint worth it, shes got kind of a schnoz (i.e big nose), and I was like, true that.  So now i’m done with that.  You know, I hate being that guy who bugs girls.  I’m still very shy.  But fuck it, i’m fucking 23.  If I want to try my chances with a topless girl who has paint on her fucking boobs, then that’s what I’ll do.  And I did that tonight.

So lesson learned.  Don’t ever give up on yourself, you still got it.  I still got it even though i’m a huge dork most of the time.  But just fucking roll with the punches.  Fuck.  I want my tacos now.  Alrite, i’m out.  Def gonna get owned tomorrow morning.  hit up mcd’s breakfast and show up an hour late.  That’s how I roll. I’m done, later gators.

Girl on the Bus

Man, the past 2 months I’ve been seeing this girl on the bus every morning before I go to work.  She’s incredibly hot and sometimes looks bitchy.  Just the way I like it.  She works at OK! magazine.  I don’t know if shes engaged though, haven’t checked out her finger.  She looks like she might be a bit older than me.  What’s the game plan?  It’s like when you always wish you can sit next to a hot chick on an airplane, and it never happens.  I sat down on the bus today and she sat next to me.  I stood there frozen for 15 minutes.  Fuck, I wish I had my ipod.  Nothing.  I just stared out the window.  Owned.  We’ll see how this plays out.

How long does being anti-something last for?

Generally, when people end a relationship with their significant other, there’s the immediate strategy to be anti-everything in order to help people get through tough times.  I’ll admit that I’m probably one of the more aggressive supporters of this tactic.  However, how long does being anti-relationship, anti-guy/girl, anti-dating, and anti-flirting last for?  Is it even a healthy way to even approach post relationships?

The past few months, I’ve been anti-everything.  When my friends tell me they want to hook me up with a girl, I tell them I’m anti-dating right now.  When I go home and see my roommate and his girlfriend do really lame relationship things like cook together, talk shit about people at work, and lay on the couch watching tv, I’m anti-relationship.  When I go to a bar and I see a fat ugly chick, then I’m anti-girl.  I’m starting to feel the effect of all of this negative energy pull me down in terms of being a more open and sociable person when it comes to tackling potential relationships.  It’s been roughly 8 months since I’ve been out of a relationship.  Last week, my friend and I were talking and I was being very apprehensive with considering taking mixed signals out on a date.  I’ve consulted many of my friends about this, and they’ve all replied telling me the same thing, “Dude, move on, you’ve been single for almost a year.”  It’s like when you first start a job, and you meet others and they ask you, “So how long have you been at the company?” and you say “oh about 3 months or so,” but in real life it’s been like 7 months.  I think we like to be in a mindset that we aren’t settlers, that we tend to like to roam and be adventurous, or maybe that’s just me.

So I sucked it up and casually asked Mixed Signals to join me for dinner sometime.  I really didn’t feel like asking her to be honest.  I’m still anti-relationships and slightly anti-dating.  I’m not a casual dater, when I go for something, I go for it.  I don’t like to date around because I don’t feel the need to spend the kind of money on something that’s not worth the investment.  She replied “For sure.”  Okay, what the hell does that mean?  For sure?  I then started talking about something else and asked her to let me know when she’s going to be free the next week.  She ended up answering one of my previous questions and then never answered the question about her schedule.  I kind of just stopped caring at that point and the conversation ended.  BTW- this was all online.  I know, pathetic.  But, to be honest, I just didn’t really have my heart into it.  However, now I was pissed because she avoided my question after agreeing to have dinner with me.

The day ended alright.  I left the office around 7pm after playing Rockband with some cube mates and realizing that there was probably nothing left to do but to work out and head home.  After a great work out, I went home, rocked my boxers, plopped on the couch, and watched my fair share of political pundits trashing each other.  Once midnight rolled around, Mixed Signals texted me asking me that if I was downtown, to hit up Martini Park to join her and her friends.  I replied saying that I was already home and watching TV.  Maybe I should’ve went.  Maybe that would’ve sealed the deal for me, but I didn’t.  I wouldn’t consider a stupid move, but probably a sign that I didn’t think it was worth my time.  We had texted back and forth for about an hour, and to be honest, it was kind of annoying.  I hate text conversations.  I think they are a waste of time and they are completely bipolar at times.  Text teasing is by far the worst form of conversation.  The only satisfaction I got out of this was that I made her be “That Girl” at the bar that just kept texting.  At the end of the text conversation, I said “Well once you’re done with your wedding tour, let me know when you’re free so we can grab some grub.”  This was my casual way of bringing up my previous question that was left unanswered.  No reply.  Nothing.  Not even a “For sure.”

Now, I’m lost.  I threw it out there twice.  Fucking twice.  Over a girl that really, I don’t even like that much.  Everything about the equation is wrong.  She likes dogs, I hate animals.  She wears a cross on her neck, I’m agnostic and slightly atheist.  She owns a cubs jersey, I hate baseball.  Maybe I’m thinking into this too much but I am not feeling this at all.  So I told myself, this is it.  I put myself out there, albeit very casual, and she’s fucking around with me.  I’m over it and back to being anti-dating.

The next day, I had gone to Six Flags with a few of my friends.  I must say, I’m not the teenager I used to be.  Does that even make sense? Whatever.  Either way, I was exhausted.  It was fun.  It reminded me of the old days where I’d go to Great America to check out chicks.  This time, I was checking out high school girls.  Not bad.  I must say, I have a really pedophilic (is that even a word? not according to wordpress..) attraction to young girls, mostly ones who wear abercrombie and uggs.  It’s very attractive.  I’m kidding, please don’t think I’m a pedophile.  Anyways, I was glad to be home that night with my limbs attached after walking and standing for what seemed to be forever.

But back to being anti-everything, I went to a party last night after bouncing out of my apartment when my roommates girlfriend came home with grocery bags.  Can I, just for once, justify being anti-relationship with the simple example of the fact that watching your roommate cook something with his unattractive girlfriend in your living room and talking about their co-workers on a saturday night is by far one of the worst events ever to possibly occur in front of my eyes.  I had to leave.  I hopped in a cab to Bucktown and hit up his place.  It was a kegger, not bad, and I was reminded of College immediately.  Unfortunately, College-like instincts such as scoping out chicks immediately occured as soon as I walked in.  Okay, not bad.  We have a good spread here.  You’ve got some hipsters, i’m feeling the style a tad bit, could do without the weird coat, and then you got the mainstream girls, definetely loving the I just woke up hair and cute dresses, and bam, 2 Asian girls appear out of nowhere.  Weird.  Really weird.  Talk about that scene in “Not another teen movie” where the token black guy walks into the party and pokes the other black guy and tells him to leave since there can only be one black guy at the party.  I gotta say, it’s been awhile since I’ve been at a party with asian women in Chicago (unless I was hanging out with my asian girl friends).  They were semi-attractive but really smart looking.  I’m frightened by smart looking.  I felt this awkward need that I had to talk to them for some reason, like it would be a disservice to my race of people if I ignored them the whole night.  Low and behold, while waiting for the Keg, I introduced myself.

They were both med students, go figure.  Only reason why Asians would step in the midwest would be to attend Northwestern Medical School.  We chatted for awhile and I lost interest pretty quickly because 1) they weren’t that hot, and 2) they weren’t that interesting.  The rest of the night, I ended up justifying my lack of game to the fact that I’m being anti-everything.  This was frustrating.  I needed to stop being such a pessimist when it came to giving myself a break.  I can’t help always thinking about the worst possible outcomes.

I went home after stuffing a gyro down my throat at 3AM and being pretty sober.  The best that came out of that night was that I didn’t drop a bill buying shots.  After a $20 cab, I thought to myself that it really has been about 8 months, and that I need to stop being such a little bitch.  By being anti-relationship, I get myself into a situation where I become anti-dating, and that leads to me being anti-girls.  There’s just no point to this whole cause.  Who am I kidding.  I can forever claim that my lifestyle right now is incredibly “busy” and that I’m a very important person.  But in the end, my humility is just as transparent as my attempt to justify why I don’t want to date.  Sometimes it helps to be consistent and just drop the facade.  I’m working on it.

Until then, wtf do I do about Mixed Signals? Definetely denied.

oh brother

I did some spring cleaning. I like him – no wishy-washiness, no bull shit. I. Like. Him. This is the first time in a while that I looked at someone and thought, “For you, I will be less selfish.” I actually held his face in my hands tonight and told him that I would eventually want to be his girlfriend.

And then I broke things off, because timing is everything, and now is not the time.

look at you, look at you

This morning was too eventful for me.

I was in the emergency room until 2:30 AM last night. I’m okay now, but lord knows that I don’t take physical pain very well. I also went to work for 2 hours this morning, ran out in the middle of a meeting and vomited from my medication (classy & professional), and almost fainted on the way home. I slept until 6 PM and canceled all of my calls/meetings for the rest of the day. I never, ever do that. When I’m sick, I suck it up and work from home. I haven’t checked my emails yet, but there’s 78 emails waiting for me on my blackberry. Don’t want to think about work right now. My health really sucks.

In other news, I am incredibly excited for this weekend. I live for the weekends. I have a one-on-one binge-drinking session/dinner date with one of my girlfriends from San Diego on Friday, then hopefully a LNO (Ladies Night Out) on Saturday, and Sunday will be monopolized by Shoes. The last time I saw him was Monday, and not to be a sap, but I misssss him!

Anyway, I just read GucciManLA’s sucky post about his new lady love (dude, can you please go into details a/b whether you’re banging her or not?). It may suck for guys to pay for dates, but women have to shave, take birth control, pay visits to the OB GYN, stay slim, shop for new clothes for dates – so trust me! You guys don’t have it too bad. I have to admit that I don’t have it so bad either. I’m pretty confident that he likes me even when I forget to shave. My birth control is now becoming routine for me. I still hate visiting my OB GYN, but that’s life. I also stopped weighing myself because numbers drive me crazy. And as for shopping for clothes for dates, I find myself wanting to stay in with him more nowadays, so I’m always in sweatpants. I know – I’m lame as fuck.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m so ready for winter. Now that I have someone to cuddle with that I actually like, I can’t wait for the cold!

boom, back with a post

i told darla that if i didn’t write a post, she would have permission to kick my ass the next time we saw each other.  well, here i am, with a post for ya’ll.

haven’t been doing too much except working.  been dating a girl, and have noticed some things about dating.

1.  it’s expensive.  dinners and/or movies once or twice a week definitely add up when you’re paying for the girl.  i definitely need a job that pays better.

2.  fun.  definitely can be a great experience when you are connecting well with a girl, and enjoyable.  even better when you are drinking at happy hour.

3.  still gotta play the game.  don’t hate the playa, hate the game.

I would be in a serious relationship…

..but I’m still too selfish and lazy to shave my legs every day.

3 day weekends = better than sex

I’ve been getting a lot of “Darla, your blog is lame now. How are you writing about single life when you’re seeing someone?” Well, I’m technically still single. My eyes are still wide open, and I am just as big of a flirt as I was 3 months ago. Until my relationship status on Facebook changes (yes – only when I change my relationship status on Facebook does my relationship become legitimate) will I retire my shady ways.

On to my weed-weekend.

I was going to go out with Schmil on Friday, but my boss assigned me to some media monitoring that was to be emailed to her by 11 AM every morning this 3-day weekend. Owned. Instead, I went over to Shoes’ place. We locked ourselves in, smoked out, ate Starburst, and laughed at each other for 3 hours.

On Saturday, I was my friend Tom’s date to his brother’s wedding at the de Young Museum in San Francisco. The bride was 36 years old, so I felt relieved. Nice to know that there is hope after 32. Tom and I took advantage of the open bar and got a little semi-trashed. After the wedding, we met up with some other friends at another bar. After some mild drinking, we headed back to his place with our friends and smoked out some more. I crashed at his place (on the couch! Don’t get any ideas!) and Shoes was PISSED. Oh well. You can’t please everyone, and last I checked, I wasn’t in a committed relatonship. Sucka.

On Sunday, I woke up in last night’s clothes (classy) and drove back to the East Bay from San Francisco. I drove back to SF an hour later and went to afternoon tea with my girlfriends, and then met up with Schmil and some of his college roommates for dinner. Right when I saw Schmil, I knew something was different because his eyes were especially small. Low and behold, he was stoned. We all quickly finished our dinner and headed back to Schmil’s friend’s place to smoke again. We sat around for half an hour, watching Planet Earth on an HD flat screen, which is quite possibly my favorite activity when stoned.

After smoking out with the boys, I headed over to Shoes’ place, where I *surprise surprise* smoked out again. Seriously? Smoking out 4 times in 3 days? I think I’m Warren G or something.

I can barely function right now because weed makes me VERRRRY stupid and slow.

Long ass overdue post (return of mixed signals)

It’s been awhile since I wrote a long post and a lot has happened lately.  Geez, where do I start?  I’ll pick up from last weekend.  First off, I gotta say, what the fuck is up with the rest of the bloggers?  Everyone has a sig other now.  Our blog is completely useless.  Now it’s just up to me.  Owned.  That’s not going to happen anytime soon.  So anyways, I’m currently hungover from last night.  I gotta stop doing this.  I need to stop drinking so much and spending so much on shots.  Last night, I bought so much patron that I ended up buying the house tequila at the end of the night because I couldn’t afford it anymore.  Tequila is bad and I don’t know why I keep going back.  It’s the most effective drink for me.

Okay, so i’ll start with last weekend.  Last weekend was the usual mix of ownage for me.  On Friday, I went to dinner with my two best girlfriends, Brynn and Lovelyn.  We went to a great restaurant, byob, had a few bottles of wine and went to their house to chat and hang out.  It was a nice night.  I had just recovered from being sick earlier in the week so it was great to have a chill night out with some good friends and a few bottles of wine.  I went home after and passed out.  On saturday, a good friend of mine was having a house warming.  He had just moved into the Wicker Park area with a few of his Northwestern frat bros.  I’ve always knew a few NU students living in Chicago and they are totally different then the kind of kids I hang out with.  NU students come from diverse backgrounds and moreso remind me of my friends back home.  Most of these kids weren’t born and raised in the Midwest.  As soon as I got there, the party was already getting started and had all the usual signs of a kid out of college:  TV on mute with underground rap in the background, red dixie cups, a fridge next to the couch with a 2 24 packs of coors, hooka set up on the living room table, and the usual overwhelming collection of DVD’s (boondock saints is a must).  More people started to show up and I began target practicing to see if there were any cuties showing up.  I ended up talking to a girl who is a personal trainer but was clearly high at the time.  She was talking really slow and kept asking questions on how to play circle of death.  We started the game and I started pounding Old Style beer one after another until I was getting pretty buzzed.  All of a sudden, I hear guy walk in and everyone yells out his name, something like “Lambo.”

Lambo, of course, was the cliche drug dealer of the group.  Showing up in a pair of sunglasses, a new era hat, flannel shirt with a throwback concert tee underneath, and a pair of dirty levis.  Man it’s been awhile.  Or am I just too old?  When Lambo showed up, it reminded me of whenever I went to visit my buddies at their colleges.  Everyone had a Lambo character.  He shows up with a blunt hanging on his ear and started socializing with the crowd.  Next thing you know, a bunch of people start smoking up.  My buddy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to blaze.  I said, of course, it’s been awhile.  A few hits later, I was dunzo.  People who know me know I suck at smoking.  I always need my friends to help me start it and I just inhale.  However, i’m not around my friends, so there’s no way i’m going to look like a pussy.  I try to do it myself (failed horribly) and ended up inhaling way too much which caused me to do my bitch cough.  After coughing for what seemed like an hour, I was high out of my mind.  I walked to the bathroom and called Yeh and started blabbering.  I was not in good shape.  20 minutes later, I started to get paranoid.  Fuck, it’s been too long.  I thought people were talking shit about me everytime I saw someone whisper in another persons ear.  We ended up going to a bar, and I gotta tell you, going somewhere after being high made me so fucking anti-social that I was literally standing in a corner playing brickbreaker on my bberry for a second.

I needed to go home.  I grabbed 2 polish and a chicago dog on my way back and passed the fuck out.  No more smoking for me.

During the week, I was slammed with work.  I just got promoted to become a Media Planner and now I have to train a few girls underneath me to take over my old responsibilities.  The girls that I train love to make fun of me and call me out on my BS.  They also don’t take me seriously because i’m always making an ass out of myself at work.  It’s quite fun.  I’m currently the only dude on the Kraft team now.  It’s pretty money.  Everytime I go on outings, all the girls try and find me girls I can date.  Its useless to me because i’m too broke to date, but nevertheless, the attention is appreciated.

Yesterday was quite the night.  Thus, the return of Mixes Signals.  It’s been awhile since I’ve talked about her.  Mostly because I got over it.  I was bored and she wasn’t that hot to me anymore.  I started to get more interested in girl with slightly larger ass.  Last night, however, I got the best of both worlds.  Where do I begin.  After work, we went to my friends comedy show again.  As soon as we get halfway in the show, my stomach acted up.  Fuck.  Out of all days, when both mixed signals and slightly larger ass would be with me at the same time, I have to get diarhea.  Are you fucking serious? Why god, why?  I freak out.  What do I do?  When the show was over, I ran to the bathroom and nothing happened.  I just ended up unleashing a half-assed fart (pun intended).  I knew this could either be a false alarm, or I was about to have round 2 come very soon.  I rushed the group to head to a bar immediately so I would have a designated bathroom near me at all times.  We jumped in a cab and went to a bar called Messners.  In the cab, I was sitting with Mixed Signals and I kept moving around.  She asked me what was wrong.  I was like, fuck it, okay, so my stomach is acting up.  Since she is slightly a bit more tomboyish than other girls she started joking about pooping.  This was slightly attractive to me.  I don’t know why.  It also got my mind off of my diarhea.  We got to the bar, and I had to make a decision.  Either I 1) get drunk off my ass by downing a few shots right away so I forgot about my stomach (half of it is mental btw), or 2) sit in the bathroom and take a mad shit.

I went with option 1.  Both of my office crushes were there that night, and I couldn’t fuck it up.  I started doing a double flirt session moving between both girls.  Soon enough, I was buying shots and we were downing 312 beers left and right.  Things were going swell.  All of a sudden, slightly larger ass wanted to bounce to another bar.  I said, fuck it, i’ll go.  We walked out, ditching mixed signals and headed to another joint.  It was great.  We were flirting the whole way, and the whole time I was thinking, if her bf was seeing this, my ass would be grass.  How money is this.  Her friend popped a squat at an alley, classy, and we kept moving along.  It was me, my gay friend Kent, her, and her friend.  We went to a wine bar/lounge and started drinking up cause Kent knew the bartender.  Suddenly I get a text from Mixed Signals “Where are you?”  I had said to her earlier i’d be back to the bar.  Fuck, owned.  So I told her where we were at.  Since we were farther, this would give me a chance to continue working on my home wrecking skills with this girl.  We chatted more about life, etc, and she never once mentioned her bf.  I was in the zone.  Next thing you knew, the usual songs came up, dk, ti, ti and rihanna, etc.  She started dancing, and she looked good.  Fuck, i hate my life.  So Kent’s friends show up and since slightly larger ass and her friend didnt know them, they were both talking to me.  Life was good.  Suddently, mixed signals shows up.  Owned.  The next hour included both of them fighting for my attention.  Life was good.  However, im not being cocky, it was the kind of attention where since they didn’t know anyone else but me, they were trying to talk to me.

All of sudden, slightly larger ass says to me “i want to request a song.”  Typical, typical.  I do my favorite thing I do at bars that are crowded, grab her hand and walk her to a place.  I love doing that.  It’s so innocent yet slightly hot cause they are holding your hand and you’re not dating.  I’m such an idiot.  Anyways, we’re going hand by hand to the DJ and she does her thing and we walk back.  The rest of the night she was next to me the whole time.  The whole time I was thinking, thank god i dont have a gf because shed probably be doing this with another guy behind my back.  She then had to leave for some reason.  Possibly because her bf finally called her.

Now it was just mixed signals and I with Kent and his friend.  We head over to another club called “berlin.”  Totally dingy but really diverse.  So much so, they even let guys dance on tables.  Wait, now that I’m thinking about it, this might have a been a gay club. FUUUCK.  Anyways, Mixed Signals and I were wasted so we started dancing and thing were good.  We left the club.  My buddy comes up to me “Calvin, don’t do anything stupid.”  Boy is he in for a dissapointment.

I went to mixed signals house and went inside.  Inside my head, all I could think about was that I wanted to bang her.  No joke.  So I sat on her couch, wasted, and thinking to myself my plan of attack.  She looks at me “So you wanna crash on the couch or wh–” I look at her and said, without even thinking “Do you want to spoon?” WTF?? What the fuck did I just say.  Owned.  She looks at me in shock and laughs, “yeah, sure.”  I couldn’t believe it, it worked.  Talk about being straightforward.  I then jumped in her bed like a total lameass, and she comes in.  She turns off the lights and takes off her pants. MONEY.  I was so attracted at this point.  She had a beautiful body.  Nothing is better than a girl in the clothes she wears before she sleeps.  I immediately grab onto her and spoon the shit out of it.  I was classy though, I didn’t try nothing.  Instead of we talked.  Then I started talking too much and she told me to shut the fuck up and go to sleep, owned.  It was ownage, but also not because my hands were on her boobs.  Jackpot!  Mission Accomplished.  So we go to sleep and I wake up in the middle of the night with my arm dead asleep cause her heads on it. She wakes up and says “you better not make this fucking awkward tomorrow morning”  I said “I wont if you dont”

We agreed.  The next morning wasnt weird at all.  Thank god I didn’t try anything.  We both agreed that since we’ve been out of relationships for quite awhile now, it was just nice to be able to spoon with someone.  This is so lame.  Anyways, I left her place thinking to myself, thank god I didn’t try to hit it.  I work with her.  All that matters, is I gotta touch her boobs.  Or boob…left one to be specific.

Shit

Well, it’s my birthday, and I’m still drunk.

darla: did you get kicked otu too
thebusdriver: yeah
thebusdriver: did u get kicked out too?
darla: yes
thebusdriver: i pissed on the dance floor
thebusdriver: gota stop doin that

I rang in my birthday at midnight at Butterfly in the Embarcadero. I skipped getting us a bottle of bubbly, and realized that getting a bottle of Grey Goose was much more efficient to get everyone wasted. To be honest, I have no idea if anyone else was drunk because I poured drinks for everyone and then grabbed the whole bottle and drank it straight up while dancing at the DJ booth. Yea – I was that girl last night. I kept grabbing the mic and screaming, “IT’S MY MOTHER FUCKING BIRTHDAY!” Like, ALRIGHT! EVERYONE KNOWS! My friends were DJing last night – and I couldn’t stop hitting on one of them. LOL I know – I hit on someone last night. Imagine how awkward that is because I am soooooooooooooooo awkward with men. Here’s the thing: I’m not interested in him (although he is the coolest guy), but I thought I was last night. I kept saying ridiculous shit like, “Why haven’t you asked me out yet?” I’M SO EMBARASSED ADSFKLDJASLFJASKLFJSADKLFJAKLSJKLADSFJKLASJFKLASJFKLASJFKLDSAJFKLAJDSFKLASJDFKL and i  have no idea what else was said as I was swigging back a bottle of Grey while getting in the way of his set. And then my waitress had to track me down and take back my bottle of vodka. Kill joy.

Oh yea, and last night was the first time I’ve ever gotten kicked out of a club. I had to be carried out. I like to leave in style, you dig?