cool

on impulse, i joined a gym today. ain’t gonna lie – i have good genes, and i look good despite having the appetite of a 14-year-old boy. regardless, i’m always tired, and even though i’m thin, i’m not toned at all. luckily for me, you can only tell this when i’m naked. i’m only naked in front of my boyfriend, and he loves me anyway. score.

things between us are really good. we house sat for his parents all last week because they were in hawaii, celebrating their 26th anniversary. we did fun things all week, like play house, make dinner together, drink bottle after bottle of wine. life is good.

did i mention that i’ve been over the “big news” that he was a manwhore before me? cuz i am. you can only be angry about something for so long before you get tired of yourself. he’s great to me, and that’s all that matters.

anyway, his birthday is in a few months, and i’m in the early planning stages. shh. i am planning him a surprise birthday party. this is kind of a huge deal because i’m not the most thoughtful person. i’m not big on birthdays or holidays. i mean, for valentine’s day, i didn’t get him anything, and when he asked me where i wanted to celebrate our first v-day together, i picked a cheap-o soul food restaurant in portrero hill (for all of you non-SF folks, P.H. is the ghetto..and I’m talkin’ OJ simpson ghetto). he’s thoughtful and considerate to me on a daily basis, so i want to make his 24th birthday extra special.

anyway, too lazy to blog. i am going out thursday night, so maybe i’ll have some fun drunken tidbits to share.

way sleepy

rule #2340823: never eat enchilada over mexican rice for lunch. 

jai ho

flashback weekend

this weekend reminded me of my days in new york. my old coworker and old roommate came into town. pure bliss.

rain – please stay

quick week at work hopefully. calzone waiting for me in chicago then off to boston. 

given the poor macro environment has put a damper on most things, life is still pretty coo. 

oh to be young and single. toast

cool

i’m not furious at shoes anymore. definitely love him again, but he’s being annoying today because i really want to cut my hair, and he’s not having any of it.

his email to me today:

i really dont like short hair. im being serious. if u want to cut it, fine. do what you like. i just am not attracted to short hair. ive never liked it.

my response:

You’ll love me no matter what – I ain’t worried.

oh, to be young and in love!

A weekend of chick flicks

Valentine’s Day weekend.  A year ago, my ex gf and I broke up a week after V-Day.  It was bitter sweet. She was on her period so we weren’t fucking.  Perfect timing.  I knew then and there it was over.  Not cause she was on her period, but we weren’t fucking anymore..which is bad, because only married couples get to that point.  Neither of us wanted to TBH.  It was a full year and I think we can both honestly say we were over it.  So here I am today, happily single, slightly emo, and a little bit hopeful.

This weekend wasn’t very eventful for me.  I had a 3 day weekend due to Prez day and it was quite nice.  On Friday, I went to a typical happy hour and had a few drinks with co-workers.  It was nice.  MS was there and it was clear our little rendesvouz were now over.  We talked a few times and had fun convos, but I had no interest in trying to get with her anymore.  I realized at this point, the chemistry just wasn’t there.  I was tired of approaching everytime.  We left to my buddy Alex’s house to do fun college-like things like smoke weed and play video games.  Once we got there, I was immediately hungry already so was acting pretty gay by playing the bongos and improvising lyrics that included fast food chains.  I was clearly trying to convince everyone that I wanted to go eat.  So a few hits later, I was pretty fucking high.  MS texted me to ask if I was still there.  I replied “yup,” short and pithy like she had replied a few weeks before at Kim’s going away party.  I didn’t bother to say “come over” this time.  She came over and we all smoked more.  Alex, whenever he gets drunk, high, or even sometimes sober, starts to freestyle.  Now here’s my thing with freestyling.  I’m totally down with it, if it lasts like a max of a minute.  Anything after that, you’re boring me ot death.  So of course, this guy goes on for like what seemed to be half an hour.  I even went to the bathroom and came out and he was still at it.  At this point, I was over it completely.  I bounced and got some tacos.  The exit was awkward.  MS waited for a cab while I took another cab home.  It was prob one of the first times that I didn’t actually sleep over.  This was good, because let’s face it…who am I kidding? It’s not going anywhere.

The next day, I woke up and it was Valentines Day.  I had talked to Joe in the morning about whether or not I should send flowers to Italian girl.  I figured it would be a nice gesture.  We both know nothings going to happen anytime soon, but, I wanted her to know that I still think about her from time to time.  That, and I heard she was kinda down she didn’t get anything.  So I ordered some flowers after consoling Brynn and Alfredo.  Alfredo obviously called me an idiot, but Brynn supported it and told me I’d get good karma.  If by karma she means groping of the breast next time I see her than sign me up!

That night, I went to Alfredo’s family party to grab some grub and hang out with a bunch of Mexicans.  His family was too cute.  Kids running around, parents dancing to Taqueria music.  It was awesome.  A few Coronas and tequila shots after, we headed back to my place.  I turned on the TV, and “Say Anything,” the John Cusack movie with the iconic stereo over the head scene was on.  I had never seen this movie yet so I figured it would be a good time to start.  The movie, I must say, was awesome.  I liked it a lot.  I liked John’s character.  He reminded me alot of myself in the sense that he’s your average underdog kid who utilizes his humor and slight charm to win over girls.  He also had several friends that were girls which reminds me of my circle of close girl friends.  The movie also made me miss “flings.”  The feeling you get when you have a fling with someone is ridiculous.  It’s that must have her feeling that I really miss.  There have only been 2 girls in my life who I’ve seen and thought to myself, I must have her.  The movie just simply reminded me of pure love.  The kind of love you have when you just can’t get sick of her.  That every part of her face and soul make you smile and laugh everytime you think of them because you can’t believe that ridiculously head over heals you are about that person.

Then the next day I caught a quick showing of “Somebody Like You,” a romantic comedy with two of the most beautiful women on earth, Ashley Judd and Marissa Tomei.  God it was painful.  Sunday night I caught yet ANOTHER fucking chick flick, “He’s Not That Into You,” with Brynn and her 2 friends.  I swear, at this point, I felt like the gay best friend.  Owned to the max.  The movie was incredible.  I liked it a lot.  I know it’s cheesy, but I liked the themes.  They were relevant.

One major theme I really things took away from the movie was this:

1) Don’t settle with someone because “nothing’s wrong.”

This was huge for me.  This was the one message I constantly not only force onto my best friends but also try to apply to myself.  It’s something that I’ve really come to fruition in believing that I should know what I want and not just settle because it’s convenient.  I know way too many people with this mentality.

After the movie, I walked home realizing that at this point, I had lost complete interest in any girl I’ve been talking about for the past months/weeks/days.  Noone has yet blown me away.  Noone has yet made me feel that “fling” feeling.  In the movie, Justin Long’s character said simply that “If a guy wants to date you, he will do everything in his power to do so.”  Once I get that ambitious again, i’ll stay close to the ground.

27 year old

So I forgot to mention one thing.  Here’s the problem.  This 27 year old girl.  I’ll tell you right now.  She’s got the per-fect face.  I’m talking about like straight up, katie holmes eyes, cute nose, and nice mouth.  On top of that, great hands.  I love great hands.  I loooove great hands.  I’m fucking weird.

So everything is good.  One problem…..larger ass and thicker legs.  This sucks.  I’m so fucking shallow that that pretty much kills it for me.  I’m a leg and ass guy.  I love skinny legs and a nice ass.  Her ass is too big.  I’m going to hell.
So what do you do in this situation?  I love her face.  She’s a cutie.  But everything below her waste is all bad.  Geez, I can’t believe i’m saying this right now, but it’s the truth.  I tell ya, if everything below her waste was to be money, i’d fucking marry her.  No joke.  Her face is good enough to marry.  I always say, a successful relationship is when you never get sick of your sig others face (oh yeah, an personality falls into it too).

Return of the drunk post

Okay, tonight was definetely a bit more then I had expected.  Where do I start.  So today, Chicago decided to finally give us some fucking sun.  It was 55 degrees.  I woke up, and Brynn called me to hit up Portillos.  It was a money day to stuff myself with italian beef and fries.  So we got some food.  Everyone was outside.  It was quite annoying.  Either way, once I got home, it was 4 and I decided to work on some shit for my side project.  At this point, I had to head to a “Charity” event at 6pm.  I rushed to get my shirt on, luckily the wrinkles managed to spread out once I put the shirt one, and I rocked a black tie and black suit before I head out.  This time, for once, the destination was in the South Loop, so I was able to walk to the place without blowing money on a cab.  It took me about 5 minutes.  I got there, and it was a bunch of old fucks.  Def a shitload of pumas/cougars.  Oh well, open bar, free dinner, fuck it.  I met up with Google clients and hit the bar right away.  2  of my coworkers showed up.  My boss was lookin pretty good, but my co-worker was a diff story.  She looked fucking stunning.  Like i’m talking about straight up like who are you and what did you do with Tiff.  She kept flirting with me all night.  This chick is straight up 27 years old and single and I’m probably more of a man then any guy shes dated.  So she kept flirting with me.  There was  a live band so we danced several times and she knew I was pretty money. During dinner I got fucking owned.  I ended up bidding 50 bucks for Nicaraguan kids to eat healthy. Whatever the fuck that means, I am in no position to be spending money on charity.  So I figure, I should prob drink 50 bucks worth of alcy all night.  I got fucking wasted.  The live band was money, playing every hit song with precision.  I started def feeling the 27 year old.  She looked fucking great.  She ended up having to go home but she wanted to drag me out.  I said no, sorry, i’m going home.  Once I got home, I couldnt sleep.  I was still drunk as fuck and wanted to go out.  I texted Brynn and she was out on Southport, so I went to meet her up.  She was with her friend that has a kid but still fucks with married guys.  Talk about fucked up shit.  I was like, alrite, def gotta take advantage.  I ended up text flirting with the 27 year old cause she said “Why can’t you be 5 years older?”  I replied with “Age ain’t nothin but a numba.”  Pretty money huh? Def not.  So she replied “LOL, i’m going to sleep now” and I should’ve asked her if I can stop by, but I thought to myself, i’ll hold off on the 27 year old vag for tonight.  I started talking to some dumb bitch at the bar who kept talking about Indiana.  Bored as fuck, I moved on.  Went to house party where I met up with Shannon, the girl I went to her party and found out her roommate that I met at the Barack Obama rally thought i was cute.  She kept telling me to ask her out.  Problem is that i’m in no position to ask anyone out right now.  I already never scheduled a date with Mixed Signal for a movie night (my bad), so she prob hates me now.  On top of that, I just donated 50 bucks to nicaraguan kids so I def gotta be conservative now.  Then i’m thinking to myself I should prob give the girl in LA, italy, some flowers for vday…..just to f with her a little.  Am I fucking sick or what?

Love it.  Hate the weather here but love the fucking bullshit i’m pulling off.

im outtizez

getting owned

you know, it’s always fun getting owned once in a while, because it keeps you in check, but also helps you to realize what you’ve done right/wrong.  all i know, is that i was not expecting this, but i don’t mind because well, one of my boys and a fellow contributor to this blog is coming down to LA this weekend to party it up.  note, he hasn’t written an entry in half a year.

anyways, so i told you all that i got this girls number, and i was going to holler at her.  check.  gave her a call about two days after, was hella nervous, even though i think most of you don’t think i would be, it is still nerve racking to think about what you’re going to say before you call up a girl you had just met a few days ago.  anyways, i pick up the phone and decide to call– she picks up.  boom, i’m in.  except, after brief small talk and some questions about her new job, i ask her to dinner and am subsequently given the line that she’s busy this weekend.  heck, definitely legit, considering we talked about how she was moving and she just started a new job.  cool, basically ask if she’s down for next week, and she says to give her a call back.  of course, knowing me, i knew this was basically 50-50.  she could be playing the, “i’m too busy but i’m really not card”, or she’s just really busy.  based on the information at hand, i gave her the benefit of the doubt and would call her back next week.

fast forward to this past tuesday.  boom, game time again.  pick up the phone, and call her.  no answer.  decided that since we had already talked, i’d leave her a voicemail, basically asking if she was free and telling her to give me a holler back.  of course, it’s now friday afternoon as i’m writing this, and no call back.  owned.  i wonder what went wrong.  perhaps i shouldn’t have left a message, and just called back again (which would just reek of desperation), or just left a message for her to call me back (but she knew why i was calling again).  anyways, the way i look at it, it’s her loss and my gain.  i save on an expensive night out– probably close to $100 bucks for dinner/whatever we do afterwards, and instead i get to go out and party this weekend, with the intention of probably meeting some other cuties.  done deal.  hopefully thebusdriver and i will have some stories to share.

peace, have a good weekend.

im back

helllllooooooooo guys. wow, i cant believe ive been back in california for 6 months already. time really flies.  i  should’ve posted more in the recent months, but i havent really been exactly single either. alas, i am. my relationship did not cover the span of my duration here in california, but it did for roughly the last two months. looking back at it (it ended on earlier this week), it was a tumultous time. good and bad, ups and downs. a lot of downs and bads…but it is what it is. i learned a lot, matured and grew. i don’t want to be in a relationship for awhile so i think this blog fits me really well! back to the life as single 24 year-old.

bummer

To better explain the state of my relationship, let’s pretend for a second that Shoes and I are married. If we are married, then the phase that we’re currently going through is a separation. Not a legal separation, but you know, he probably moved out of the house or something of that nature. So, back to reality: Shoes and I are taking a break.

What does this mean? I’m not sure. I do know that we are great together, but I am still pretty angry at him for not telling me how robust his little-black-book used to be. I feel like he never realizes how much he cares about me until I’m about to leave him.

Example: He never realized that he wanted me to be his girlfriend until I gave him an ultimatum and said, “Look, I’m not going to be this girl that you sleep with, without a commitment, anymore.” Next thing you know, three days later, he calls me to say that I am different from than the scummy tramps he usually occupies his time with. Eventually, I become his girlfriend.

Second example: He got scared and twisted the truth about his former vibrant life as a single man and I, of course, freaked out on him and decided that I didn’t love him anymore. He drops the “L” word (not “lesbian”) 3 weeks later.

Why can’t he realize that he cares about me while things are still good?

Anyway, the reason why we are taking a break isn’t because what he did is so bad – because it’s not. It’s more because something has really changed in me in the last year or so. I have complete intolerance for bullshit, in the most unforgiving manner possible. Making him grovel over lies he told me to protect our relationship is draining me, and it’s draining him too. It’s not fair to either one of us that I’m unforgiving, so I guess the only way to go about things is for us to take a break from each other.

I don’t even know what a break really means or what it entails. All I know is that that we’re not going to speak to each other for a few weeks so I can cool down and collect my thoughts. Live my life and see my friends. Read. Decorate my apartment. Do things that I’ve put off since I started seeing him.

He really a lovely man. People love to see us together, and my friends wholly approve of him. My roommates are bummed that he won’t be coming over for a while to cook for us. I’m bummed he won’t be coming over for a while too.

Anyway, I did something I haven’t done for a while today. I met up with a girlfriend for lunch, and then I took a long walk by myself. When it got cold, I went home, made a cup of tea, and read a book. Then I napped, woke up and gossiped with my roommates. I haven’t had alone time in quite a while, and it felt soothing. I think that Shoes and I have been so caught up in each other, seeing eachother almost every day for the last 5 months, that we simply suffocated each other. Some time apart from each other will do us good, I think. Besides how unforgiving I am, there’s really no reason why we shouldn’t end up together. The problem is me, not him.