Really handsome man sitting in front of me at the coffee shop..

..but I can’t tell if he’s gay or straight.

Constant dilemma here in San Francisco.

same rules but more strict

Most people become more conservative as they age, but that usually refers to their spending habits or political views. For me, I become more conservative about my sexual habits – or lack thereof.

Last night, I had one of those is it a date/is it a group thing/are we just hanging out as friends situations. I seriously considered not writing about this, because I thought that he knew about this blog, but apparently he doesn’t. I asked. LOL. I mean, you have to be cautious.

I’ll call him Dig.

I knew Dig when I went to school in San Diego. I always thought he was cute, but it was one of those harmless crushes that always linger – even years later, because they’re so damn cute. Regardless, he found out from my Twitter that I was in DC for the week, so he reached out to me to meet up for drinks. Since I’m doing this new thing where I’m trying to step outside of my comfort zone, I decided to do something that I’ve never done before – I asked him out.

I’m crazy about rules. I’m all about, “Don’t kiss on the first, second, third, fourth, etc. etc. date.” “Never ask a guy out.” “Never put out until X amount of months.” “Never call the guy first.” etc. etc.

I figured that I was in DC, I’m newly single, bored out of my mind, and hey – it’s the first time in five years that the both of us were single. Granted, me asking him out wasn’t THAT groundbreaking – after all, he asked me for drinks, I just turned drinks into dinner. Whatever. Regardless, I was pretty proud of myself for breaking one of my stupid rules.

For one reason or another (work, client crises, colleague happy hours) I flaked on our date – twice. First off, he didn’t give me any crap. He understood that I was here for work, and that all leisurely activities were secondary. Second, even though I flaked on him, he still texted me the next morning, seeing if I was free for the night, WITHOUT seeming desperate. That’s a pretty amazing feat, if you ask me.

To make a long story short, last night was my last night here, so my colleagues and I planned a big dinner for our group, and decided to invite our friends from the area. I invited Dig, and we had a very loud, fun, drunken dinner with my colleagues, and then decided to ditch them at the last minute to go sightseeing.

He took me all over DC – all the monuments, parks, neighborhoods..it was kind of perfect. There were many moments where I knew I was supposed to kiss him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so. I mean, I just had my heart stomped all over not too long ago, and now that I’m finally okay, I definitely don’t want to dive head first into something new. Not to mention that we’re on opposite sides of the Atlantic. Also, he is probably the cutest guy I’ve hung out with over the last year, but that is by no means a reason to kiss him.

I know that I’m young, and this is the time to slut around and be free, but I am making a life choice to remain celibate so long as I’m not crazy about someone. I think that now, this also includes not kissing anyone. I want to save my kisses for someone that I’m going to love.

It’s raining men!

Hallelujah! It’s raining men! Amen!