Scandal!

So, I’ve had this new perspective on taking control of my sexuality and being less uptight about sex. It’s a personal choice, whatever. I’m also all about instant gratification nowadays, because since I’ve started the new job, my hours are way worse, and I don’t have time to patiently work towards a relationship that’s of substance. It sounds depressing, but I’m actually quite happy nowadays.

Anyway, that’s a summary of my POV over the last few months.

In other news, I’m like, dating two guys right now, at the same time. And they don’t know about each other. But they are friends. Like, they kind of “grew up” together the way that you have to grow up all over again after you graduate from college and start your first job. I don’t feel that bad about it because I’m noone’s girlfriend, don’t owe either of them anything, and I’m not going to be monogamous or proactively tell either of them until I think that any of us are ready to commit.

There’s Guy A and Guy B. They’re both the same age, and are both hotties. I don’t typically date good looking guys, so I always have to point out when they’re actually good looking. They’re both white, but I swear that this is just a phase I’m going through because Asian guys can’t handle me. I am a lot of woman, and white men tend to find this incredibly amusing whereas Asian guys think it’s a headache. I mean, seriously, if you’re a firey Asian woman, and you’re into white guys, you need to move to San Francisco – the world is your oyster.

I started seeing Guy A in mid-October, and I set my expectations very low. He’s a nice guy and all, but he’s not capable of a lot of human emotions, but he always means well. Not trying to sound corny, but I am quite the passionate gal, and if you are awesome, I will love the shit out of you. He’s the kind of guy that makes you feel like you’re another thing on his to do list, and he doesn’t mean to do it, but that’s just the reality of who he is. From the start, I’ve expected nothing of him, and am surprised that I’ve spent at least one night at his place every weekend since we started this. I’m telling you, he’s just not an emotionally giving person at all, and because I’m not sold on him, I give him a lot of space and see our relationship as being “fitting” and “convenient” for two people as busy as we are. I know. Not so romantic. Another thing: no one really knows that we’re seeing each other, because we have too many mutual friends, and we don’t want anyone to make this a bigger thing than it is.

Guy B is..well…I love him already. I met him briefly a few months ago, but it was in passing so I barely remembered him. And then I came in touch with him again at a holiday party a few weeks ago, and what happened was kind of funny…

I spotted him from the dance floor {oh god, I’m mortified already}, and knew I had to talk to him. He was tall, boyishly handsome and looked a little dorky. I love dorky guys and bringing out their wild side – such a cliche. To make a long story short, we talked for a little bit, and I said something that sounds witty when you’re drunk, but is actually idiotic when you think about it sober, like, “I know you’re a white boy, but can you break it down on the dance floor?” {kill me}

We skipped over to the DJ and danced for 10 minutes, and he twirled me around and all that cute shit. He walked away for a brief second, and when he did, I realized that I didn’t remember his name, so pulled our mutual friend to the side and asked about Guy A. When I asked Dumb Friend, he was like, “DARLA! You can’t talk to him! That guy has A KID!”

So I freaked out.

And I ran out of the venue.

And took a very drunk cab ride home.

And then Dumb Friend called me at 3 AM to share some of his sexual exploits, and while he did this, I looked up Guy B on Facebook.

Turns out Dumb Friend thought I was talking about another dude, and Guy B did not, in fact, have a kid.

Phew.

And the best part? Dumb Friend let me in on a secret: Guy B had a big thing for me after the first time we met. So then I put up my defenses and gave my whole, “NO, Dumb Friend, I WILL NOT date ANOTHER white guy with an Asian fetish. YOUR SKILLS AS MY WINGMAN ARE USELESS!”

And Dumb Friend was like, “No, no, he thinks you’re a complete firecracker and he’s asked me about you multiple times – I just didn’t want to hear that speech from you again so I didn’t say anything. But he doesn’t have an Asian fetish.”

So then I snapped out of it, and felt horrible about flipping out and leaving the party early. To make a long story short, Guy B found out from Dumb Friend that I “had a thing” with Guy A {which, haha, isn’t really past tense}. So Guy B goes and ask Guy A for permission to ask me out. Turns out that Guy A starts stammering, gets super territorial and annoyed, but then backs down and says, “Yeah. She’s single. Go for it.”

So, wow. I didn’t know that Guy A would have that kind of reaction at all, but it is what it is. So then Guy B and I go out, but Guy A doesn’t know that it actually happened.

And it was perfect. Seriously.

We had drinks and just talked, and talked, and talked. And I would look up at him with googly eyes, and he would look back adoringly. It was sickening. And you know what? He didn’t even try to kiss me, and I love that, because I have pretty much broken all of my rules with Guy A, and although it feels liberating, it’s nice to be courted in a traditional way.

And then on the next day, Guy B got on a plane to New York. Because, fuck my life, that’s where he lives. And Guy A lives in San Francisco, so that’s why I spend most of my weekends at his place.

Guy B is AMAZING. I honestly feel like I could love him, and I love that he’s in New York. This way, I don’t have to feel guilty about my work hours, and every time I see him, it’ll be a vacation.

Anyway, I have a business trip to Manhattan in January, so I’m going to fly in earlier to spend time with Guy B. You can’t tell very much about people from the first date, but our chemistry was undeniable. He’s the kind of guy that I would want to take care of, roast a chicken on Sundays for, and fold laundry with while watching sitcoms. He makes me want to be a girlfriend again, and I’ve been enjoying being single for a while now.

The scandalous thing is that Guy A is going to be going to be arriving to New York for a guy’s weekend a few days after I arrive. And I don’t know how I’m going to juggle them both. It’s like, an awesome problem to have.